Romantic relationships travel through a similar course over time, starting with unending infatuation, lusty butterflies & giggly excitement. Over time the inevitable happens: infatuation ends, the couple discovers differences, perhaps there’s even a disagreement in there somewhere. Ask any mom or grandmother for advice and they may say “a relationship does not officially start until after the first fight”.

It’s a milestone that lets us discover the way the relationship dynamic deals with compromise. Having a first fight is hardly ever a cause for concern as it’s a commonly discussed topic and place of happily offered advice (hence the grandmothers reference). Over time a couple may encounter a sexual dry spell – unfortunately, this hurdle is not talked about as much, there is not much grandmotherly wisdom offered to solve this scenario so many couples fear it’s the beginning of the end.

Are the days of hot passionate love gone forever? Absolutely not! Just as learning to compromise on the first fight, the sexual dry spell can be harnessed to help the couple grow emotionally closer. It’s time for friendship to develop and deepen.

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Here are 5 reasons to embrace this love life downtime and prepare for it’s awesome return:

1. Anticipation Builds
Think of the days you were dating before you had sex for the first time. The anticipation built up and you were both so frisky, all you could think about was sex. The the first time happened and it was an explosion followed by aftershocks of great sex for weeks on end. For couples who wait until marriage for sex, this anticipation builds even more.

It’s the human adage that you want what you can’t have. The restricted, the taboo. It makes us want it with desire so much more. Taking a couple months off will eventually build anticipation again. At first you won’t think of sex much but after time goes by, you’ll be missing the moment of shared passion.

2. Offers an Opportunity to Start a New Sex Life.
It happens to every couple, the sexual positions get repetitive, we fall into a comfortable pattern that ends up being ordinary. After taking all this time off from lovemaking, it’s much easier to slip into a new groove by trying something new the first time you get back together sexually.

An adult novelty is one of the most popular new things to try when the sex life is lacking. Shop online together, the mind will flow with images of what’s to come… sexual build up & anticipation at it’s finest! It gets delivered to your house but it’s important not to open the box yet. Wait until your first encounter and before you know it’ll you’ll be craving love like it’s your first time all over again.

3. Get re-connected emotionally.
Take this time to get to know each other better. Instead of having passion be forefront of conversation, this is your prime chance to learn about the childhood of your partner, get to know them intimately in an emotional and spiritual way. Enjoy activities together even simple things like a walk in the park or ice skating. Building a friendship is a very important factor in any romantic relationship as this is the glue that holds the couple together.

Many people say that once you have sex with a friend, the relationship is forever different and this seems to be so true, so take this relationship in reverse – you started off as lovers now it’s time to be friends for a while before retuning to your original relationship state.


4. Developing Trust

During the height of sexual exploration, the minds are so focused on each other that the rest of the world seems not to exist. After the sex life dulls down, attention returns to members of the opposite sex. It’s natural, men look at women – women look at men. This lull is really going to test the trust level in the relationship.

It’s time to weed out the good guys from the unfaithful guys (or girls!). Others may tempt the natural human sexual urges at this time since the newness of the relationship is gone. Here you will be put to the test yourself, to see if you really love the person you’re with – or if it’s just lust and infatuation that is now gone. This is a test that only time can tell, but monitoring the closeness and activities of your partner will help you know how dedicated they are to being committed to you.

Frances Denzel writes advice columns for couples helping to enhancing intimacy, love and passion encapsulating all aspects of life together, well into the golden years of marriage.